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ending it all   
10:04pm 03/06/2005
mood: really FUCKIN IRRITATED!!!!!!
i think i am on a really big line of not getting married no more....or at least for quite a while...
for many of reasons and all the reasons to it...yeah makes me think its actually ganna make me end it...

tom shows ABSOLUTLY no intrest in it...hell i cant even get him to fucking listen to me for shit! dat and he is always telling me he cant come stay with me cuz he has to much fucking work to do but oh he can go stay with his fucking friends....yeah where is this ok?

and then money wise i nore my family can afford for me to even have a wedding...

so yeah its pretty much a great big FUCK YOU to the wedding deal....
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death to boardom!   
10:40pm 31/05/2005
mood: pissed off
so yeah sitting at home alone and have absolutly NOTHING to do! im sooo board!

my older sister will be here around 5 and yeah i dont know what is planned for tonite...probly nothing as usual....
tomorrow we are going to clevland to go see mom after her sergery...thats ganna be a boaring 2 hour drive there and back tomorrow.....

i called tom up and he didnt seem to intrested in talking to me for what ever reason....kind of bothers me in a way...but what ever....he dont care...

so yeah just left to sit here and be board out of my skull.....
i feel really tired cuz i didnt sleep to good last nite and i had to get up at 8 this morning to take my stupid lil sister to school and go to the post office for my dad...when i got home i tryed going back to sleep but dat didnt happen for a while...then when i layed back down to try to sleep for a lil bit and i just fell asleep the damn phone rang....pissed me off cuz i am really tired but there is no point in trying to sleep now....so yeah im shit out of luck for now.

god its bugging me cuz of how tom sounded on the phone...its really really bugging me.... and when i asked what he did all last nite he was like i umm sat with him where he is staying at.... at first it seemed like he had to stop and think about it for a min...but i dunno.... i guess im slowly going into a pissy stage here....and it sucks... i do what i can to make him happy and i always feel like i seem to fail some how...

death to boardom still!!!!!!
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i hate hospital trips!   
05:29am 30/05/2005
mood: just blahh
yeah so today i thought was ganna be a nice day. i had tom over cuz he stayed the nite last nite and i didnt have to work so dat was great... i take a shower and as i am getting out vjs friend is calling me to have me come down stairs quickly.
i go down stairs and vj is laying on the floor and andy his friend and daniell are all holding towls on him cuz he was all bloody like it was gross...once i saw all the blood i freeked out and was like ahhhh what do i do!!!!
so got him in the car and all of us includeing tom we all drive out to the hospital....yeah and i thought it was bad seeing joels finger...this was pretty grotesk....to bloody...but ne hoo, yea we go park and were walking up to the emergency room to take him in and people are just staring at us and is like "oh my god look at him" its like ok i know he isnt shot so its not dat bad...but yeah i was still kind of blah from it....
and of corse i didnt know where my parents were so i go in and they had me sign him in right away....
tom left to come back to the house and yeah he saw my parents so he brought my mom in...
what happend to vj was him and andy were of corse wrestling around and vj went threw a car window...yeah smart move! do now one of the cars have a missing window and vj has stiches now in his elbow....
so yeah dat was my great icky day.....
speeking of RETARDS!   
08:47am 27/03/2005
mood: holidays falling out my ass!!
so yeah calling someone retarted kind of kicks you in your own ass...lol..
i discovered this one last tuesday...i did the DUMBEST thing at work...
i was all getting ready to close up and what not i go over to the service desk to get my money order and the lady was like its not 7 yet...i ignored her and yeah i went back finished cloesing up...
so when i was finished i went threw the store to pick up a few things...when i was done i was walking out side to get to my car and yeah i was confused i was like why is it still daylite out...i get in my car look at my phone clock and it sed 638... yeah so the dip shit dat i am and retard dat i am i clocked out and left work an hour early with out even realizeing it.
now i SWARE to fucking god dat when i started my paper work the clock sed 645 and when i clocked out it sed 7...but till this day i am not only still really confused with myself but im flusterated with the fact dat i could of done something seriously dat dumb! so yeah.... dont know wether to laugh about it or cry about it...lol but all well its done and over with and hopefully wont ever happen again...
but yeah i think i hit retard mod dat day or something...i dont know where my minds been l8ly....

so ne hoo yeah happy easter to everyone..i ate soo much in the past two days dat ill be haveing holidays falling out my ass....lol...i feel like i been threw every holiday in the past two days..we had kabossa (im polish and i cant spell it) but yeah had dat which is normally an easter holiday food, had ham which is usually a christmas food, and had turkey wich is well yeah we all know its for thanksgiving....lol....

but ne hoo...yeah i had a good easter...and now my family is leaving me for just about a week...they are going to dayton to my aunts place monday threw thrusday...so yeahh..
but thankfully tom will stay with me cuz i have been playing fatel frame and its scares the shit out of me...lol...but if i do get stuck being alone some nite ill jsut go stay at my aunt carols place...lol...
mmm yup   
09:42am 21/03/2005
mood: confused with happiness
well yesterday...yeah my mom made me try on wedding dresses....wasnt expecting dat...
but yeah i went to see my brother get the shit kicked out of him at the bg mall yesterday and when i got there i went to go find my family cuz they were just walking around. they were found in sam goody and across from dat store was a bridal shop. my mom had me go in to what i though was ganna be just to look around. but once i sed a dress looked perdy my mom was like you wanna try it on? i looked at her like ummm i dunno...it was weird but a good weird.
the first dress i tryed on was "and not to sound to girly like" but it was absolutly georgeous. but sadly since im too fat it didnt fit and they cant order it in a diffrent size cuz its one dats already discontinued. *sigh*
so of corse we are ganna be looking around to other places to see if we can find one simular to it. so yeayy...it was exciteing but yeah its hard to say what was going threw my mind at dat time cuz its yeah...i tryed on a wedding dress...what more can i say?

so yeah dat was my exciteing day dat and seeing vj get the crap kicked out of him...litteraly. lol...it was cool though.
bastard birthdays   
10:08am 11/03/2005
mood: meh im alive
so yeah i had my 21st birthday a week ago....i diecided i wanted to quit my bday. it sucked!
i am probly the only 21 year old who had like the worst bday ever! not only did it suck cuz i had to work the day of and the day after my b day, but when i got home from work everyone was fucking fighting up a god damn wall, tom was wanting to leave and yeah it just sucked. i got shit for my bday, all i got dat i liked was i finally got that 70's show on dvd. but befor any of dat i went in the bathroom cuz i just wanted to cry cuz i was so fed up with everything and it was hard and sucked when i had to go let them sing happy bday to me and i was just standing there not careing no more...i came real close to of leaveing my house dat nite and not telling anyone where i was going. i was just so upset.

but on the plus side, tom and i had been engaged for a year now. so yeay to dat. and plus he is now getting closer and closer to wanting to move in here to be with me. so dubble yeay! ill be alot happyer when he does. dat way i can be with him all the time now. :)

ne hoo, yeah dats been about all the excitement dats gone on. besides me telling off my district manager about dumb shit mary. i told her i didnt want dat woman calling me no matter what! and expecailly at home. no one and i mean NO ONE is supose to be calling me at home except for my district manager. and dats it! so yeah, i made it pretty clear to her about it and hopefully she follows up on it. i gotta work tomorrow and i am hopeing dat she found someone to come in for half of the day...but if not i am stuck there all by myself tomorrow and its ganna suck some major ass monkees! it will make me sad.

so yeah i am off now!
nazi camp...   
07:48am 26/02/2005
mood: umm yeah.....
so this past week was stupid...kind of...
monday i was sooo pissed off when i went into work..the place was left a compleate mess..papers everywhere, pizza box left there with pizza in it, pop bottols, nothing was locked up nothing was shut down and the fed ex bag was left open out in the open for god knows who to take..and dat would be bad cuz it holds all the money orders in it and checks from people dat we always have to send out on mondays...
so yeah dats dat, and nothing i asked was done. none of the new stuff was put up at all, the new software disks werent working at all for me and yeah i was just pissed off all to high hell...my district manager called me and asked how everything was and i bitched at her bout how tore up the place was.
she wasnt happy to hear dat. so then thankfully crazy lady came in *tina* (my old boss) she came to help me get things straightened up and what not. so im happy she did.
but threw out the day we were getting all these complaints about amanda. i really hope she loses her job. i guess a customer called saturday when she was working to see if her pictures were in and amanda was compleatly rude to this lady on the phone and she was litteraly yelling at her i guess to the point where the customer told me she was sitting there holding her phone away from her ear and still could hear amanda yelling clearly...now dat right there should get you automatically fired. dats just bullshit to treet a customer like dat.
plus amanda was the one who was supose to show up for work sunday but never did so we lost alot of people dat day. she sed her breaks went out but it was more so a lie cuz the weather was bad and she is the type dat if the weather is bad out she wont go out to work in it. so yeah she needs to be fired.
so ne hoo, tuesday was a bit better. compleatly boaring day though... but the district manager called me up again..she told me how proud she is of my work and sales averages and what not. she also sed dat once we get things cleared up with the nazis in walmart dat she is considering makeing me the manager out there in fremont. so dat was kind of actually very surprising...so go me! i might be the manager out there. dats pretty cool to know. hehehe...makes me happy i guess...i wonder if i would get paid a lil bit more then what i am already getting paid.

so ne ways. yeah i had a nice three days off of work. i spent all my time with my tommy baby..so i was happy.
other then dat yeah dats been the up date. ohh next week on saturday is my 21st birthday...so yeahh happy birthday to me! all i am ganna do is go to the store and buy something of my own and come home and share my evening with tom..heheh :) personally dats what i would rather do then go out to a bar...so yup!
mmm yup   
02:00pm 09/02/2005
mood: fuck all you fucking nazis
well, yeah...today was my bestest friends 21st birthday...i misses her. she called me today to thank me for the cards...so i was happy.
but she is a whore for being so far away!!

ne hoo, charannie is home, so i have just been hanging out with her. its been fun i guess.

but dats bout it...

oh yeah, i figured it out, everyone i work with or work for are a bunch of FUCKING NAZIS!!!
07:52am 06/02/2005
mood: splat happy
yeayyy!!!!! my buddha is comming home tonite!
hehehe yeah my older sestor is comming home for a while. i misses her!

other then dat, dats the only exciteing thing for now.

i feel bad cuz my baby is sick :( *gives him big hugs n kisses hope for him to feel better* i lovers you tommy!
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mm yup   
06:20am 01/02/2005
mood: death to sickness!!!
so yeah havent had to much time to do anything on line.
im always freekin working now. kind of sucks but doesnt cuz i get paid for it. so yeah go me!

ne hoo, yeah right now im like sicker then sick. its sucking majorly. my whole body hurts and yeah its all in my chest where its all blah like. so when i cough it hurts and sucks. *DEATH TO SICKNESS*

i kind of wish tom was here to make me feel better but hes not. hell i havent even been able to get ahold of him yet today. i keep calling up to his house and no one fucking answers there damn phone out there. kind of pisses me off. and then when i see tom online im like i just tryed calling you and i get *really i didnt hear the phone* well its cuz there phone fucking sucks and doesnt ring loud enough for them. fucking crist....
blah i dont know....it pisses me off sometimes and is irritateing dat they dont answer there phone. i would of just driven out there but yeah i dont feel good enough to be driving anywhere right now.

so yeah dats been my up date....all i do any more is i go to work, i come home, i call tom and i got to bed. i wake up go to work come home call tom...every once in a while ill get together with my friend ashley to go play rummy with her. yeayy for never ending score sheets. lol...so yeah dats my life since i have moved back up here...

so yeah to anyone from cincy who reads this! HI TO YOU ALL AND I MISSES YOU GUYS!
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10:45am 24/01/2005
mood: hehe evil plans
hey kim you sloppy crotch cricket, i gots you a present...you can consider it your late birthday present from me...hehehe
but i saw something and it made me think of you, so i got it...

but yeah...

YEAY! i still need to send you poop in an envalope!

luv me
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12:07pm 09/01/2005
mood: mood speeks for itself
i wish i can just die!
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06:36am 05/01/2005
mood: like it ses..blah
P.S. poops on kims face face and fluffs in her ear! then splats in the eye...hehehe
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06:30am 05/01/2005
mood: sad wants to cry
so yeah, started my job today...lol...im a workin lady now! yeayy!! no no not really...
ne hoo, yeah dats just bout all dat there is to update...
i miss my tommy baby...

today is my the anaversary of my grandmas death..she died 3 years ago today..
and tusday on the 11th it will be my grandpas 9 year anaversary of death...
its kind of odd how there death is so close together but 6 years apart.
i saw my grandpa die when i was in 6th grade which was 1996 you know last time for elemantry school...then when i was a sr in highschool, last year of high school grandma dies on the 5th... so yeah, they were 6 days apart and 6years...hmmmm...dats odd.... kind of freeky to...

all well, yeah..its kind of sad... i know tuesday is really ganna suck for me cuz i didnt handle my grandpas death well at all...i still dont believe he is gone...i think its all a set up. ITS BULLSHIT! *hummmmmm sigh*

ok yeah my day went to hell now....im sad...
01:13am 28/12/2004
mood: splat happy!
yeay, i gots me a job! lol...didnt take much effort to get it either...those are always the best jobs to have. ones where you dont have to fill crap out and what not, ones where there just handed or thrown to you...hehehe
but yeah i start tomorrow at the bg studio. so yeah...i guess i am ganna be a floater..
oh yeah and i have a small chance of being the manager of the stuido there to in bg...oh god can you just see it now? me being a manager....how scarry....eeeeepppp!!!

ne hoo, yeah other then dat i have had fun the last couple of days. stayed at maumee bay state park with tommy and his momma and brothers. it was ok fun, while it lasted.
we sat in the hot tubs for a bit, i played racket ball with my sister, walked around, ate an ice cream sunday, and then tom and i sat in the lobby playing scrabble, *not knowing how to spell* and we played candy land which dat game is a load of crap! lol...then we attempted to put a puzzle together, but dat didnt work out to well... and once the lil camping group of anoying lil kids left the tv finally, he hooked up his playstation and we played games together. which i did have fun... i like the fighting games where you fight eachother or what ever...and he has this one game its kind of like the car raceing game, i cant remember the name of it, it was america something where you raCE across the country i guess, but his was one dat had like jets to race, and dat one was ok to some point...

so ne hoo, now i am home and i got dat phone call and i start tomorrow morning...bahhh morning...this is ganna suck some great big monkey ass! lol...all well at least i wont be pore any more! ill have money to rebuild tom and my house...so double yeayy!!!
merry x-mas   
01:02pm 25/12/2004
yup well i know christmas is over, but not by far...so who cares!

all i care bout is i made it threw the day. so yeayy!


hehehe so yeah, got some good stuff i guess...nothing to complain about.
got to have tom with me so i was happy. getting to spend it with him was the best gift of all. so yeayy..

but dats all i got to say for now!

so BY!
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i quite!   
06:04am 23/12/2004
mood: haveing a break down
so yeah i quite everything!
putting people first befor yourself gets you no where!

its all i have been trying to do is put everyone first befor i think of myself and yeah its all shit!
so now im bout to snap and have a serious break down...

so yeah I QUITE!
02:44pm 18/12/2004
mood: splat happy!
so yeah, i am finally moved back home.
its still hard to believe i am a college gradguate....*never thought id see the day* but i am..
i am the first one out of my friends, and probly the frist out of my whole highschool gradguateing class dat has actually made dat accomplishment..its kind of nice, yet still very weird...dont know how to take it. but so far i have been taking it quite well...lol
so ne ways, yeah, i do miss kim n katie n christy though..they were my buddies in cincy. they were great to hang with..hehehe *SPLATS YOU ALL*
but gradguation was ok..went quickly and nicely. and then tuesday i got the hell outta there.
i got tom and my room pretty much set up, yet its not staying dat way cuz he has stuff to bring over still to put up in there, so hopefully we will work on dat this week so we can finally get it all set up instead of it looking like one big mess pile up there.
im ganna do all my laundry befor putting it away cuz yeah it smells like smoke really bad. which have been doing pretty good about not smokeing..i havent done it in 4 days now. last time i smoked was befor i left cincy.. its crazy i know, but at the same time being up here and not around smokers, it makes it easyer not to smoke.
so yeah...
i might have a job...i went to walmart with my momma yesterday, and i had to pee really badly, and the bathrooms were over by the portrait studio..as i walked by i glanced over and surprise surprise, my old boss was working there... lol so i stopped in and she like litterly hit the ceiling..lol she freaked out! i got her crying cuz she was so happy to see me...lol so she was like what are you up to now, i told her i gradguated monday and now i am like befor looking for a job... and she was like ohh you gotta come work here cuz we just lost two people and blah blah blah so she gave me this number to call, and she was like yeah just ask for this person and tell her i trained you at the old studio and you just gradguated and what not and i pretty much garentee you will have a job. so i am happy about dat one.
its just funny cuz i love walking into places not haveing a job and not even working on finding one, but still walk away with dat great possibility... dats how i ended up working for her before...lol so i am happy.
cuz now tom and i can work on our life together. yeayy... makes me all happy like..
but i am going for now...
12:04am 09/12/2004
mood: happy anxious though
yeayy i am technically finally done with school! i am finally going to gradguate on monday!!! sooo happy.
dat same nite i will be moving back up north to my partents place. so yeah.....

i am very happy also cuz tom talks very postivie about living at home with me as well. so i am glad to hear it when he talks about it. yeayy..
so yeah, dats bout all for now.

still need to pack a few more things up to move home.
12:21pm 04/12/2004
mood: dieing inside with great pain
yeah you herd me blah...
dats how i fucking feel...
my back is fucking killing me, i was supose to go back to cincy friday but i stayed cuz i cared enough to wanting to spend time with tom...and is he here...no... he sed he was ganna stop back out here tonite cuz i told him i would only stay if he came back out, but yeah he isnt here yet.
and i have a feeling he wont be.
what a wonderful way to spend time with someone. i sure can feel the love between him and i now. and he just doesnt care.